Welcome back, fellow Gorehounds, to The Video Vault – where we unearth the blood-soaked, the forgotten, and the gloriously gruesome treasures from the VHS era! This week, we're venturing into a truly bizarre corner of early 80s horror, a film that garnered notoriety not just for its premise, but for its inclusion on a infamous list of banned titles. Prepare to approach with caution as we dive into:
Don't Go Near the Park (1981)
Synopsis:
For 12,000 years, immortal siblings Tra and Gar have been cursed, surviving only by consuming the entrails of young people to maintain their youth. As their ancient curse nears its end, they believe the only way to break it and achieve true immortality is to sacrifice a virginal child conceived by one of them. Gar, living under the name Mark, marries a young woman and fathers a daughter, Bondi. As Bondi approaches her sixteenth birthday, she becomes the horrifying target of her own father's desperate plan. When she runs away and finds herself entangled with other runaways living near a mysterious park, the ancient, gruesome ritual barrels towards its unsettling conclusion, revealing bizarre family secrets, unexpected twists, and a truly unsettling finale.
Why it's a "Vault" Film:
Don't Go Near the Park earns its spot in our Vault for several reasons, not least of which is its infamous status as a "video nasty" in the UK. This film was successfully prosecuted for obscenity due to its violent content and unsettling themes, making it a forbidden fruit for many horror fans of the era. Released direct-to-video in the midst of the burgeoning VHS market, it's a quintessential example of low-budget, grindhouse-adjacent horror that pushed boundaries and, intentionally or not, courted controversy. It's a film that embodies the wild, unfiltered side of 80s exploitation, a must-see for those interested in the darker corners of horror history and censorship.
Your In-Depth Review & Analysis (A Bizarre, Unsettling Trip):
Directed by Lawrence D. Foldes, Don't Go Near the Park is undeniably a messy, often confusing film. Its low budget is apparent in the production values, and the narrative frequently veers into unexpected, sometimes nonsensical, territory. The plot involving 12,000-year-old cannibal siblings, ancient curses, and a planned virginal sacrifice is outlandish, even by horror standards, and the film struggles with pacing and consistent tone. Performances can be stiff, and the overall effect is often more perplexing than genuinely scary.
However, its chaotic nature is precisely what gives Don't Go Near the Park its unique, cult appeal. It's a film that throws everything at the wall: cannibalism, implied incestuous desires, unexpected supernatural powers (including laser eyes!), and a truly disturbing climax. While not a masterclass in filmmaking, its dedication to its grotesque premise and willingness to go to uncomfortable places sets it apart. The infamous "entrails-eating" scenes, while low-tech, are effectively gross, contributing to its reputation. It's less about traditional scares and more about a sustained sense of unease brought on by its bizarre narrative and controversial elements. For those fascinated by the "video nasty" era and the sheer audacity of independent horror, Don't Go Near the Park offers a truly wild, if uneven, ride into the annals of forbidden cinema.
Have YOU dared to venture into the unsettling world of Don't Go Near the Park? Share your thoughts, wildest moments, and "video nasty" experiences in the comments below!
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